The Directors: Anthony

The Directors: Marcus

The Directors: Mark

The Directors: Lucy

The Directors: Stephen

The Directors...

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What's Going On? Mark

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At the age of 24, my world as a graduate changed from what would have been seen as “normal” to a kaleidoscope of “insanity”. One strong memory is talking to my mum on the phone from my halls of residence whilst looking out of the window to the courtyard where I saw a collection of cheerleaders; there was an intense feeling within me. I knew something was not right. 

I was too frightened to talk to anyone about what was happening; the intensity of my delusions became more apparent as my university term continued. Moreover, my thought patterns and the power of what was happening to my body became overwhelming - but I could not tell anyone for fear of being seen as unstable with a “brain chemical imbalance”. 

For at least one very intense year, from the start of 2000 to 2001, I think the physiology of my brain changed. I experienced strong thoughts of grandeur and incredible paranoia. My world became nothing more than a fantasy in my head and it felt as if the outside world had unceremoniously rejected me. Finally, at the crescendo of my psychosis, I received treatment from a warm psychiatrist in Phoenix, Arizona. 

From that time, every dream I ever had of a career in the environment became less and less realistic to the point of finding myself homeless, long term unemployed, addicted to cannabis, virtually destitute and with a significant drop in my own IQ and memory. 

More than twenty years later, I try my best to work out what happened and move forward with the hand of cards I was dealt: to overcome the abject poverty, the cold home, the social isolation and the empty career path which I’d planned to be a “sparkling career in the environment”, to a series of short-term voluntary roles in the Third Sector. 

Finally, now things have changed. They do over time. I try relentlessly, every day to improve the quality of my own life and at last, with the financial support I should have had years ago, I can afford to heat my home, eat well and have a limited social life. I feel privileged to have found work in both the voluntary and paid sectors. For around the last 15 years I have been working with the homeless and absolutely love the stories people share with me.

Mark's story

The Directors is a collaboration between artist Marcus Coates and five individuals in recovery from different lived experiences of psychosis.

Artangel's Associate Director Michael Morris interviewed each Director on set. These audio files record their thoughts and feelings about the process of production.

The Directors Interview: Mark by Artangel

After the film was shot, Michael Morris interviewed Mark, capturing the director's thoughts and feelings on the process of production 

Audio interview

Mark and Marcus Coates discuss the making of the film The Directors: Mark (2022).

Commissioned by Artangel.

Find out more at artangel.org.uk/project/the-directors

Mark and Marcus Coates on the set of The Directors: Mark

After the film was shot, Mark and Marcus Coates engage in a conversation on set, capturing their immediate reflections on their experiences